Saturday, February 4, 2012

Push it

I've learned a few things about myself this week. I had a pretty down couple of days. Even though I should have been feeling pretty good, I was kind of depressed. In all honesty, I still am. But, I learned I'm stronger than I give myself credit for. Let me lay it all out there: I'm a 34 year old, single mother, who still lives with her parents. I don't get any child support from my son's father and I don't get public assistance, food stamps, or welfare. The only assistance I do get is Medicaid so I can take my son to the doctor. I work my ass off so we can have a decent life. I can't give him everything he wants, but I do what I can. I want to be around for that little boy for as long as possible. He went to a Boy Scout event today, as a family member, and raced in the Pine Wood Derby. Well, that little stinker won one of his races! I was so proud that I almost cried. I want to have a million more moments like that!!!!

I've lost track of my point...did I even have one?? Anyway, I've been pushing myself this week, eating better, less snacking, more moving, blahblahblah. I'm hoping it's paying off. I wish I had taken my measurements when I started this whole thing. I've been keeping a diary of everything I eat, all the exercises I do, and my goals for the week. I've been really doing pretty good at keeping track of these things. I was going to input them on my computer but I got frustrated with the form (I made the original at work) and gave up for tonight.

I really didn't have a point in this post. Just to let my readers know that I'm still here. I'm not as down as I was on Tuesday, but I'm hanging in there. I've had a pretty uneventful week. I do want to say thank you to everyone who reads this. I have some really great friends and family. I don't know how much more of this I could do without you. I'm still busting ass, still pushing myself, still eating less and making better choices. I wish I saw differences in how I look, though. The only thing that lets me know is the numbers on the scale, that and a couple pairs of pants a bit bigger than they used to be.......hopefully I'll have to buy a whole new wardrobe.

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