I know weight is just part of it. I've been told I look different. Thanks! Still, tonight, I want to get into my bed and cry for a few hours. I've kind of felt this way all day. I know I need to get my work out in. I just don't feel like it. I'm tired, my body is sore, and I want to go to bed. Is that 3 more excuses? Run 9 laps! Shit! I did walk 3/4 of a mile today at lunch, so I get points for that, right?? Please say yes!
I've been trying all kinds of different things to take my mind of eating and trying to help me get into a healthier mind set. I'm drinking lots of water. I've all but given up soda. I really try to only have 1-2 a week. I've been adding lemon to my water when I'm at home. I'm even drinking vegetable juice because I read that it'll curb your craving for sweets. Let's hope it helps! I drink a lot of milk, always have. It's 1% milk, though. I suppose that's good.
You know, this being healthy thing isn't so bad. I was able to go play football with my son tonight. Something that just a few weeks ago would've left me struggling to breathe and useless for the rest of the evening. Now, we didn't play for a long time but it was getting cold!! Another excuse??? I'll let this one slide.
My piss poor attitude really didn't help my son tonight. I wish I knew what my problem was. It can't be as simple as I'm just a bitch, can it?? My poor son was really sleepy and grumpy, not to mention whiny and scream-y. I just kept yelling at him. I lost my temper but I went to my room and threw everything on the floor. What the f am I? A teenage girl?? Christ! I went back to talk to him a short time later and he "still forgives me." I love that little boy. Looking into his pretty blue eyes gives me the strength I need to do one more damn burpee or try another few crunches.