Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Do I eat too much for Overeaters Anonymous??

Well, I've spent the last 20 minutes trying to get connected with an online Overeater Anonymous group. A friend suggested that I try a meeting, after reading my first blog post and I decided on the online format because I just don't have time to drive to Raleigh at 7:30pm on a Monday or Tuesday night. Sounds like an excuse, doesn't it?? Run 3 laps! I'm so lost. I'm struggling and I kind of don't know how to do this. I think I'm off to a good start. I weighed in at the Biggest Loser competition today and I weighed 362.4, yay me! Do you know anyone who gets excited about weighing 362 lbs?? Neither do I.

I know weight is just part of it. I've been told I look different. Thanks! Still, tonight, I want to get into my bed and cry for a few hours. I've kind of felt this way all day. I know I need to get my work out in. I just don't feel like it. I'm tired, my body is sore, and I want to go to bed. Is that 3 more excuses? Run 9 laps! Shit! I did walk 3/4 of a mile today at lunch, so I get points for that, right?? Please say yes!

I've been trying all kinds of different things to take my mind of eating and trying to help me get into a healthier mind set. I'm drinking lots of water. I've all but given up soda. I really try to only have 1-2 a week. I've been adding lemon to my water when I'm at home. I'm even drinking vegetable juice because I read that it'll curb your craving for sweets. Let's hope it helps! I drink a lot of milk, always have. It's 1% milk, though. I suppose that's good.

You know, this being healthy thing isn't so bad. I was able to go play football with my son tonight. Something that just a few weeks ago would've left me struggling to breathe and useless for the rest of the evening. Now, we didn't play for a long time but it was getting cold!! Another excuse??? I'll let this one slide.

My piss poor attitude really didn't help my son tonight. I wish I knew what my problem was. It can't be as simple as I'm just a bitch, can it?? My poor son was really sleepy and grumpy, not to mention whiny and scream-y. I just kept yelling at him. I lost my temper but I went to my room and threw everything on the floor. What the f am I? A teenage girl?? Christ! I went back to talk to him a short time later and he "still forgives me." I love that little boy. Looking into his pretty blue eyes gives me the strength I need to do one more damn burpee or try another few crunches.


  1. Jess, you are doing an excellent job and I am cheering you on with each post. Don't beat yourself up for having a bad/grouchy - want to just rest day. You are actually supposed to give your body a day of rest per week so your muscles can recover. I would think the grouchy mood would be from all the changes you're putting your body thru. Such as food changes (cutting down on sugar, eating much differently). Yes it is all good for you but your body doesn't want to believe it. The feeling will pass, just give it time. Have you ever heard of Spark People? The website is sparkpeople.com and they have a great support group on there as well as calorie and exercise counters, nutrition counters, food suggestions and recipes. I really like the site and I think it may be worth checking out. Is there any walking groups in your area? I believe you can go online and check with your chamber of commerce. Having a walking buddy is a great way to stay accountable for your workouts. Some times a local church will have a walking group or diet/support group. It's worth checking into. You have a great sense of humor and I love your wittiness, just don't beat yourself up. You are on the right path . . . and I am so excited for you.

    1. Thanks for the suggestion. I'm looking at that website right now. I'll let you know. I have a walking buddy at work, 2 actually. We walk on our lunch break. There's about a 3/4 mile lap we do around the "circle" where we work, we've even gotten to 2 laps. I've been working out at home because I don't have time to go to an actual gym. However, I think that I eventually will join a gym. We'll have to see. There are things I'm just not ready for yet, too. Thank you for your support, it really does help me to see everyone's positive comments and everything. I don't want to disappoint anyone, lol....well, I don't want to disappoint myself.